Women And Goddesses, The Irony Of The State Of India

In a country in India, where, on one hand, the country is revered as the mother and Goddesses are venerated and yet moms, daughters, sisters, and wives are never rendered the respect they deserve…

According to the National Crime Research Bureau’s (NCRB) 2022 Crime in India Report, India has seen a harrowing surge in the rate of crimes against women in the recent years, with 4,45,256 cases registered in 2022 alone, equivalent to nearly 51 FIRs every hour. The report also revealed a severe escalation from the crime rate reported in 2020 and 2021. The rate of crimes against women per lakh population stood at 66.4 while the charge sheeting in such cases was logged at 75.8. Additionally, the report released in 2018 stated that a crime against women occurs every 1.7 minutes in India, while a woman is subjected to domestic abuse every 4.4 minutes. 

The Irony in the lives of women in India!

It’s such an ironic and unfortunate state of affairs in India, where, on one hand, the country is revered as the mother and Goddesses are venerated and yet moms, daughters, sisters, and wives are never rendered the respect they deserve, if not as gods, at least as human beings. As promising as the figures and data collected by government oganizations seem, most of these surveys do not include all of the data on violence against women. This is mostly due to the dominance of the orthodox societal standards and the shame that survivors of sexual or domestic abuse face, resulting in incidences of sexual or domestic violence being significantly underreported.

Gender prejudice has grown to the point that women are increasingly vulnerable to domestic violence and physical and emotional abuse. Not just domestic violence but a variety of kinds of abuses have been observed in India, especially, in the domestic setting. Domestic violence is often considered to be the same as intimate partner violence which is committed by a partner on the other partner. However, domestic violence is not merely restricted to marital abuse but even against children, parents, or the elderly. It has acquired multiple forms over the course of time, including physical, verbal, emotional, economic, religious, reproductive, or sexual abuse. 

Patriarchy stems from women?

As a matter of fact, women face domestic abuse not only by men who wish to take control over the victim but also other women who have been brought up under the same patriarchal norms, who believe that it is a man’s sole right to exert power. Many times, it so happens that people don’t even recognize when they either become a victim or be an abuser. Some uncertain issues as small as verbal argument or as big as job insecurity can be a few prime reasons leading to abuse in relationships. It so happens that the abuser either mocks or embarrasses the victim in front of friends or relatives without realizing the injury being caused on the mind and heart of the other person. Also, often the victim are  subject to the blame for the behavior or act of the abuser. Strange, isn’t it?  But these are minor signs of domestic abuse. It is important to be aware that such initiations may lead to severe incidents. 

Majority of the victims of domestic violence, globally, are women and they tend to experience much more violent forms. Various forms of violence that have been noticed include bride burning, honor killing, dowry death and marital rapes. Domestic violence has often occurred in relationships when the abuser starts believing that they are entitled to it, or that it is acceptable and justified or may never be reported. It leads to a never-ending cycle of violence and the abuser never recognizes themselves to be one since they may consider their experiences to be family conflicts that had gotten out of control. Even forced marriage and child marriages have led to severe forms of domestic violence. There rises a great deal of tensions within the family and domestic violence leads to mental health problems. Besides, lack of coping skills, isolation, and excessive dependence also increases with time.

Also read: Protecting Indian Nationals Abroad: Addressing Safety Concerns and the High Cost of Living Away

Domestic violence is justified?

Unfortunately, marital beating is often justified by a majority of people and believed to be the consequence of provocation by the wife, who is seen as being at fault. Such physical abuse involves causing fear, pain, injury and other physical suffering or bodily harm. It can be the culmination of other abusive behaviour as well such as threats, intimidation, and restriction of victim self- determination through isolation, manipulation, and other limitations of personal freedom. Denying medical care, sleep deprivation, and forced drug or alcohol use, are also few forms of physical abuse. It has also been noticed that males generally use their privilege and start treating their counterparts as inferior and make all important decisions themselves acting like the ‘master of the cattle’. They prevent females from getting or keeping a job compelling her to ask and plead for money. It is a sad plight, but the victims feel threatened and broken financially as well as emotionally. Gradually, it may result in either isolation or acute depression. 

How to identify domestic violence in its initial phase?

It might not be simple to identify domestic violence initially as it may often start subtly and get worse over time. Check out the following to be able to identify the problem before it is too late:

  • -Any attempt to take control over your time, money, friends, or even money.
  • -Acts of jealousy, possessiveness, obsession, or even constant accusation of being unfaithful.
  • -Gets physical or angry after consuming alcohol or using drugs.
  • -Blames you for his misconduct and forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will.
  • -Tries to humiliate in public and claiming you to be worthless and puts you down.

With such indications, one needs to get cautious and act immediately to prevent grievous consequences. Indeed, there is no point taking any blame or humiliations and being intimidated or threatened in those circumstances. Sometimes domestic violence may even begin or increase during pregnancy, putting not only your health at stake but also the child’s health is at risk. The danger also continues after the birth of the child. And yes, there is absolutely no right time that one must wait to look for a solution. It is essential to take up measures immediately to prevent oneself from being victimized.  The longer one stays in an abusive relationship, the greater the emotional and physical toll which can cause depression and anxiety. It is possible that one begins to doubt one’s ability to take care of self as well. It may lead to severe helplessness and the individual may never be able to take any stand.

Save yourself and fellow women!

ACT before it’s too late. CREATE a safety plan and help yourself.

  • -Begin talking to friends or relatives about the misery you face. 
  • -Have financial strength and control.
  • -Seek assistance from Women’s organization and police. 
  • -Start taking legal advice and counselling.