Sleeping With Others, Staying Married: Why Gen-Z And Millennials Are Talking About Open Marriage

In the last several years, how we think about love and fidelity in relationships has changed, especially for millennials and Gen-Z. Social media has helped to normalize uncertain words like “polyamory” and “open relationship,” and many couples are asking themselves if monogamy is the only way to have a successful marriage. So, what is an open marriage and how do you know if it’s right for you? 

An open marriage is a form of consensual non-monogamy (CNM), which refers to a relationship in which a couple consciously chooses to regard sexual or romantic relationships with others outside of the marriage as not cheating. Although there are a lot of intricacies in language here. Polyamory, for example, usually includes more than one deeply committed emotional relationship, whereas in an open marriage, the emphasis is on keeping one primary partnership while having the freedom to explore with other partners.

According to professionals, couples must consider six major factors before adopting such an arrangement, Attachment style does matter, People with secure attachment might find it easier to manage the trust and openness, let alone vulnerability, needed in open marriages, but those with anxious or avoidant styles might not.

Clear boundaries are key: From establishing what “counts” as acceptable activity to establishing rules regarding time, intimacy, or disclosure, boundaries serve to stave off conflicts.

Motivations need to be genuine: Entering an open marriage to get out of frustration or prevent conflict tends to be a sign of trouble. Couples need to be certain whether they are entering because of personal development, exploration, or simply a compatible fit.

Communication is imperative: Researchers point to “meta-communication” communicating how you communicate as crucial. Without openness and self-disclosure, jealousy and distrust can spin out of control.

Jealousy is prevalent: A study conducted in the early 1980s discovered that almost 80% of individuals in open marriages experienced feelings of jealousy. Experts advise couples to expect this phenomenon instead of believing openness erases it.

Long-term effect is diverse: Some couples experience increased satisfaction and equality in open marriages, while others end up returning to monogamy. Research is divided on whether open marriages raise the rate of divorce.

The concept of open marriage is not new 1960s sociologists compared “open” relationships, in which couples experienced greater freedom, with “closed” marriages that were restricted by societal norms. Now, it is one aspect of a larger movement to redefine intimacy, equality, and personal identity in relationships.

In the end, whether open marriage succeeds is up to the couple. Some find it freeing and identity-enhancing, while others find that the problems exceed the rewards. As one expert on relationships describes it: “Open marriage is not about having fewer rules, but about creating your own and sticking to them together.”

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