Modern Loneliness: Why We Feel Alone Despite Being With Someone

Loneliness doesn’t always mean you are alone in a big empty room. Many people feel lonely even living with family, being in relationship or going out with friends. This emotional emptiness has a name: modern loneliness. Modern loneliness has quietly become one of our greatest mental health challenges of our time.

What is Modern Loneliness?

Modern loneliness is to experience a state of emotional disconnection from those around you. You may talk to people every day, sit together for meals or even live under the same roof and yet still feel that something is missing, or instead feel the feeling of emotional emptiness. Modern loneliness occurs when someone makes you “feel alone”, often by not connecting with you emotionally and not providing understanding or support.

We are more connected, but more disconnected

Technology has made communication fast, yet shallow.

We exchange texts, emoji, and memes, yet have”hot” verbal discussions about anything that really matters. 

When we speak, we don’t really speak deeply.

When we follow people, we don’t KNOW them.

When we stay “online”, we are not or can’t be present emotionally.

We seem to have a distance between physical presence and emotional closeness.

Unmet Emotional Needs

A common source of loneliness in a relationship is having emotional needs unmet. We all want to feel heard, seen, and understood by significant people in our lives. If no partner, friend, or family member has the other’s emotional state in mind, one can feel loneliness in the heart – even in a crowded room. 

Fear of Vulnerability

In some cases, a person will remove themselves from interactions with others and withdraw from expressing what they really feel, out of fear of other people judging them. They cover or mask their pain with excessive laughter, being busy, or just silence. This masking only causes more loneliness.

Comparison

With social media we are provided perfect relationships in perfectly curated lives. Today, we often feel lonely as our own real life does not resemble their perfect photoshopped world. People can feel unworthy, inadequate, and lonely even if our closest friends and family genuinely love us.

Suggestions for combatting loneliness

• Have an authentic conversation.
• Spend time together without devices.
• Create deeper relationships with fewer people.
• Be in touch with your emotions and communicate them. 

Modern loneliness can evaporate if we strive towards connection rather than distraction.

This article is for general awareness only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. If you experience persistent loneliness, please seek guidance from a qualified expert.