How Parenting in India Differs From The Netherlands: Dutch Mother Breaks Down 7 Eye-Opening Differences, Says ‘Academic Pressure Starts Far Too Early in India’

A Dutch mother based in Mumbai has opened up about her journey of raising a child in India, highlighting how everyday parenting here feels quite different from her life in the Netherlands. Ivana, who has lived in India for nearly nine years, shared her reflections while celebrating her daughter’s second birthday.

She explained that over time, she has realised that instead of judging one approach as “better” or “worse,” it’s more meaningful to understand and accept the trade-offs that come with different parenting styles. She also admitted that many aspects of parenting in India initially surprised her.

One of the biggest differences she noticed is the strong sense of community. In the Netherlands, parenting can often feel like a more independent, long-term responsibility, whereas in Mumbai, there is a dependable support system. She described how family members and neighbours are always ready to help, watch over children, or simply spend time with them. Adjusting to this collective approach took time, especially given her independent Dutch upbringing.

Ivana also pointed out that public spaces in India tend to be more welcoming towards children. Unlike some places in the Netherlands where children may not always be fully accommodated, in India they are generally embraced in most environments.

Speaking about parenting styles, she noted that Dutch culture encourages independence from an early age, while Indian parenting focuses more on interdependence and community bonding. For instance, children in the Netherlands may start going to school on their own quite young, whereas in India they are more closely integrated into family and social networks.

While she values India’s strong community support, she also believes in raising children with respect and encouraging them to question authority, even within a more hierarchical system.

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She further shared that her daughter is growing up in a multilingual environment, regularly hearing Dutch, English, and Hindi. Her primary language is Hindi, blended with words from Dutch, Punjabi, and Bengali, which Ivana sees as a positive and enriching experience.

On safety, she observed a contrast in perspective: in Amsterdam, safety often means allowing children independence, while in Mumbai it is linked to closer supervision and limited freedom.

She also highlighted how academic pressure in India begins early, unlike the play-focused early childhood approach in the Netherlands.

Additionally, she appreciates the availability of domestic help in India, which allows her to spend more quality time with her child and reduces stress. She noted that in the Netherlands, her daughter might have started daycare much earlier. Although she sometimes worries about limited peer interaction, she feels her current choices are working well for now.

Reflecting on her journey, Ivana said that raising a child in Mumbai initially felt overwhelming, but connecting with other parents—especially fellow Dutch mothers—helped her adjust. Having grown up in the Netherlands as a refugee without strong family support, she finds it deeply emotional and fulfilling to see her daughter grow up surrounded by love and a strong community.

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